Saturday, January 2, 2010

Slow Walkers

Have you ever been in a rush, but you have to take the subway? Then when you get off the subway and get to the stairs, you get stuck behind the slowest group of people on the planet? Ya, me too. How do these people always get in front of me? They move so slowly, it must have taken AT LEAST an hour to get to the stairs! And yet they are always there, just waiting to make you late! They must have gotten off the train, then rushed to the staircase as fast as humanly possible. Then by the time they make it to the stairs they have used up nearly every scrap of energy in their body, causing them to move at an incredibly slow speed. And they never fail to show up! Never once will you ride on any type of public transit without being stopped by one of these people.

They don't just stop at public transit, oh no, that would be much to simple for these people. No, if you are in a rush then they will show up! If you make a quick stop at Wal-Mart because you forgot to get your brother an engagement gift, there they are taking up the entire aisle. If you are late getting out of the house on your way to a big meeting with corporate, there they are in the lobby. There is no escape!

Luckily, there are a few ways to avoid being stuck behind a slow walker. If you see a large crowd of people but don't see anything there to distract them, STEER CLEAR. There is likely a slow walker keeping them all back, and no one has decided to just go around them. If someone near you starts to slow down, get away! Either that person is a slow walker, or they have just been stopped by a slow walker. And finally, if someone you know is a slow walker, never, EVER, walk somewhere with them. It will be the most horrible, annoying experience of your life.

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